The Irish: pushing their luck

I'm not going to entertain for a second the idea that Sepp Blatter isn't anything less than a bloated ball-bag of a man with less to say than a toaster. But the way the Irish have chased the dragon's tail following Gallas' farce of a goal has been nothing short of a disgrace.

Today has seen Liam Brady, the Irish assistant coach, deriding FIFA for their laughing at the proposal to have 33 teams at South Africa - them being the 33rd, of course. I'd say a chuckling session is the best that window-dressed stand-up joke of an idea deserves. Of course you can't start adding teams in after qualification, regardless of the circumstances. Otherwise I'd want Iraq in for the ever-so-slightly unfair situation of war, fought between a militia minority and another country on their back door step.

Or how about going back 24 years and reliving the 1986 quarter between us and the cheating Argies? I'm pretty sure Peter Reid could handle the beach ball-esque Maradona of today - Shilton could concentrate on punching his smug little face instead of the ball this time round.

How can anyone who professes to love football entertain this delirious rot? Controversy is one of the best parts of football. To remove it is to remove the Monday morning outrage, the half-cut arguments and heated press conferences. There'd be no point to Roy Keane at all. Video technology works in tennis, for example, because bad decisions detract from the game. Controversy adds to football; a richer, denser affair with multiple personalities (especially if Andy Goram's playing) and rivalled passions.

Call me a febrile conservative but I don't want five officials, either. It takes away from one of the true beauties of football: that we can all play the same game, on the same pitch with the same equipment (ref included) whether we're sweating out a hangover on a Sunday morning or flip-flapping round Patrice Evra. The only advantage of having five officials I can think of is that Neil Warnock will think he's just downed a bottle of Stolly every time he sees three fourth officials on a moan.

So hard luck, the Irish. You did well but you came up short. Unfairly. But life's unfair (you'd know better than most). Just take lines from your national coach Giovanni Trappatoni, a guy who's seen it and done it with just about evey team this side of the Euphrates. Through all the red mist, the pointless moaning and the even pointlesser political projections, Signor Trappatoni simply said, after the game, "It wasn’t up to Henry to say I touched it with my hand. He cannot say ‘excuse me referee, I handled it’, the responsibility is with the referee." Then silence.

Football is a sport. If you are going to carry on raging, Irishers, take it out on the seeding. That is a f**king disgrace.